awkwardethiopian:

shamanjuice:

Girlfriend decided to put a sock on my dogs foot, and my dog seemed a little shocked to say the least. 

I can’t stop laughing :(

(Source: based-messiah)

me: does 5 situps
me: where are my abs

dad: those people on that tumblr website are gonna kidnap you one day
me: dad they barely even leave their room

xmayb:

The fact that there’s over 7.2 billion people in the world and not even one of them is taking one for the team by dating me is extremely unacceptable

(Source: olvidare)

what’s cinna’s last name?

mon.

(Source: leasbreasts)

special-3dition:

same .

mom 4 hours ago: we're only staying for 30 minutes

paging-doctorfaggot:

karma’s a bitch

(Source: regalitea)

artninja-mcrockviking:

 Goofy is the only classic Disney character who has had sex.

Mickey has nephews, Donald has nephews, Goofy has a son.

And he wasn’t adopted, he looks just like him.

Goofy……has had sex.
Goofy…..has known a woman biblically….

Imagine what it must’ve looked like.
Imagine what it sounded like.

These are the things I think about when I wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat.

de-feated:

Hurt a girl, and she wont forget.

(Source: shavigh)

youresuchacuntbag:

zackisontumblr:

TILL THE VERY NEXT DAY.

BUM BUM BUM BUM-DAH-DAH

(Source: wtfdirtbag)

queefnasty:

sulihead:

he really thought

is this the same boy that was trine dunk at the basketball game